A Letter To My 18-Year-Old Self

by - May 26, 2016

Welcome back! I'm saying that to you and myself, because I know that I haven't been very active lately, but no worries! All is good; I've just been super busy. One of the reasons I've been busy is because my younger brother graduates high school on Friday! Where did the time go? I'm the oldest of my siblings, so I feel like mom jr. to them sometimes! What makes this graduation hard is that he is joining the AirForce later this summer. With all these emotions associated with his graduation, it inspired me to write a letter to myself, when I was eighteen. So much in my life has changed since then, but I am so happy with where I am and everything I had to do to get here.

Dear Amanda,

Here you are. Eighteen with graduation just two days away. You are so excited because not only are you a first-generation college graduate, but you will also be a first-generation college student. You have worked so hard already and you are going to be thankful for teaching yourself diligence because it is going to help you in the years to come.

Making the decision to live at home for the first two years is so smart. You might think that living at home is going to suck, but you actually won't mind it. Mom will let you do your own thing and when you aren't drowning in loans like most of your friends, you'll be thankful. A nannying job is also going to come your way, which is really going to help you with finances. Keep that savings account going, girl! Speaking of finances, aren't you so glad that everything worked out? College is paid for this year and it will continue. You are probably going to end up graduating college completely debt-free!

Right now, I know you aren't even thinking about going through sorority recruitment, but trust me, you will and you are going to join the perfect sisterhood. AOII will bring you your very best friends and bring so much happiness into your life when things gets tough. These girls, especially 'fam' will always be there and they are the most incredible young women in your life right now. Keep them close and don't take them for granted.

I have some bad news. You are going to have these headaches that scare you and you'll end up having to go to the doctor's and get some tests done. Everything ends up being just fine though! You are also going to develop anxiety. Yes, you are going to start stressing more, which will turn into anxiety. It is going to suck and you aren't going to know how to handle it, but you are will learn. At 20, you're still learning and trying to work through it, but everything will be alright.

I wish that this was different, but at 20 (days from 21), you are still going to struggle with your weight and self-image. It sucks so much. You will still be a size 12. You will have days that you will be confident and days that you want to cry and hide under a rock. The bright side is that you have just found a workout plan that you enjoy: doing C25K three times a week along with the Blogilates workout calendar. You just started this workout plan and eating healthy again, but you have your mind set and you are telling yourself every day that you will lose the weight.

Yes, you and David are still together. Things are going to happen that are going to be really tough and you're going to get frustrated with the relationship at times, but you know what? You and David are strong and you have a love that so far, seems to be unbreakable. You won't be engaged by the time you're 21, unless a proposal is coming in about three days from now, which is you know is impossible with how tight money is between you two right now. You are happy though and that is what matters.

College is going to be so much fun and you are going to accomplish so much. You are going to end up double majoring in Journalism and Film. You fell in love with journalism and decided that it could no longer be your minor, but instead your primary major. You are going to make the Dean's List. You are going to fall in love with AOII. You are going to become a writer for Her Campus GSU and then take over their Facebook page and then you're going to be the Senior Editor for the 2016 - 2017 school year. You are going to be a videographer and video editor for GSTV before gaining confidence to give reporting a try for the 2016 - 2017 school year. You are going to apply to intern with CNN and you'll get an interview, which is online and your computer is going to screw up.You won't get that internship, but you're motivated to apply again. Remember when you told yourself at 16 that you would intern with The Bert Show? Guess what, girl? You landed that internship and here you are. It's the summer of 2016 and you are loving that internship. You even managed to be on air three times your second week there. The Bert Show has secured your decision in what you want to do for the rest of your life.

Life is going to suck and it is going to be wonderful. You are going to cry and you are going to laugh so hard you cry. You aren't going to understand why certain things happen and you are going to question God, but remember that His plans are so much greater than yours. Your life is going to be full of blessings and beauty.


Your 20 (almost 21-year-old) Self

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