How To Be A Better Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife

by - June 28, 2018

David and I have been dating for about 6 and a half years. We met about 8 years ago (if you want the story of that, let me know) and well... the rest is history. 

Love is amazing, but you know what? It isn’t always easy. I mean, nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes and that makes life difficult sometimes.

In a partnership, it takes two people working together. You won’t always agree. You’re going to get upset. You are going to let each other down. The beautiful thing is that despite all that, you choose to keep each other accountable, build each other up, and go through life together. 

Even with all of that though, here’s the thing to remember… you can only control yourself. I can’t stop control every decision David makes, but I can decide on my reaction, how I love, and how selfless I can be. The same goes for David… he can’t control when I forget to pick up my messes, but he can control how he reacts, how he loves, and how selfless he can be. 

When it comes to being in a relationship, there is also so much pressure, especially as women. There’s so much pressure on us to be the perfect girlfriend/fiance/wife and be perfect in all of the other roles we are expected to fill. Wanting to meet all these exceptions can put so much pressure and stress on us, but listen… put aside any negative feelings and focus on what you can do to love your man in the best way possible.

I’m going to share a few things that I’ve learned and how you can be a better partner today. I know this post is kind of targeted for us ladies, but I think the guys can benefit from this, too!

Put Your Phone Down

I am so guilty of this, but we spend so much time on our phones and we’re just so busy in general, but remember to take some time and focus on your man. Instagram can wait. You can clean the bathroom later. The Crown will still be on Netflix in an hour. Give him your attention. Talk. Cuddle. Watch something together. Just be present.

Ask For His Advice

I’ll be the first to admit that I am definitely a strong, independent woman. My mom and grandma are both very independent and always made sure that I knew my value wasn’t in a man and that I didn’t need a man to complete me. At the same time, they are incredible wives. With that being said, sometimes, I just do things on my own without asking for David’s thoughts or advice on something. 

Redecorating? You man might have an idea. Is something broken? He might know someone who can fix it or maybe he knows how to fix it. Not sure where to go on vacation? I’m sure he has some ideas! Asking for his input doesn’t mean you have to do what he says all the time, but you’ll learn how to be collaborative and he’ll feel valued.

Take Time To Do Something He Enjoys

Truth is, a lot of the time, things that David and I do are probably mostly what I enjoy. I’ve tried to do some things with him that he also enjoys. I am the most girly-girl you might ever meet and David likes to do, well, “man” and “outdoor-sy” things.  This isn’t always my cup of tea, but I’ve learned that what I love is just spending time with him. 

Put yourself into his world for a bit. Go to a store he likes, help (or attempt) him on a project he’s working on, go fishing… whatever it is that he likes, ask to go with him! He will appreciate it and you’ll probably learn some new things!

Greet Him With A Smile

This one is simple, but I definitely don’t do it enough! When you see each other, whether it has been months or just a few hours, greet him with a smile and enthusiasm. 

Support And Appreciate Him

You got to make sure your man knows that you stand behind him. Whatever those goals are that he is working towards, tell him you believe in him. Support and love him.

Do you love the shirt he’s wearing? Did he make you the best margarita? Did you feel loved when he got flowers sent to your office? Are you proud of his big accomplishment? Tell him! Oh, and don’t just tell him what you love about him when it’s just you two. Compliment him in front of friends and family. Don’t be afraid to compliment him publicly. 

Let him know that you have his back and appreciate him.

Give Him Personal Space

As much as I absolutely love doing things with David, guess what? We have our own interests. He has his music. I have my blog. Sometimes, I go out with the girls and he hangs with his guy friends. We watch different shows. We run errands alone.

We have separate interests and hobbies and that is totally okay! Your lives don’t have to be merged completely into one. You are still individuals, so doing your own thing sometimes is totally cool! 
You know what? After doing my own thing, I am always so excited to see David again. 

Think Before You Speak

I can say really mean things when I’m mad. David will hug me and walk away when we’re arguing, but no, not me. I get angry and I don’t think before I speak. I’ve said some pretty hurtful things because I was angry. I’m working on this.

No matter who is at fault, take a moment to collect your thoughts and just think, but also let him know that you love him and you just need a minute.

Proverbs 15:1 says that, “a calm answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger,” and I always remember this when I’m angry.

Related: 10 Date Nights You Can Have From Home

I’m know that I’m no expert, but I’m just a twenty-something girl trying to navigate life and love and relationships is such a big part of life. I hope that you can use this advice to help your relationship and just be the best girlfriend/fiancé/wife you can be! Remember that every one is different and that means every relationship is different, so don’t let anyone tell you how you should be, but do what works for you, girl!



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